The personal stories and adventures of a nerdy food lover.

When baking isn’t enough

Anything that lights your world leaves it dark once it’s gone ~ Ashly Lorenzana

The Cooking Chook has been a bit quiet in the last couple of weeks. I usually post a recipe every week, and sometimes I even do an extra post about something that I want to share with everyone. When things aren’t that great, I like to bake because baking is my refuge. It provides me with respite from all that is bad and helps me remember all that is good in this world. Unfortunately, the last couple of weeks have been exceptionally bad. Within the space of six weeks, the Universe decided to take three beloved people from my life; two of which were taken within a few days of each other. My sorrow was at such a depth that I couldn’t even bring myself to flick through my magazines or surf the internet to find inspiration or even a little cheer. I’ve been particularly fortunate so far, in that I haven’t had to experience the death of someone close to me in almost three decades. The last time someone close to me passed, I was too young to fully understand the repercussions of death. I totally get it now, and it hurts like you wouldn’t believe. The only time it doesn’t hurt, is the first few seconds of when I wake up in the morning and for that short amount of time, I forget what has happened. Then I come to the realisation of what I’ve lost, and my heart breaks all over again. Despite the heartache and sorrow, I’ve had the chance to spend time with family and friends who have been an immense comfort and support. I already knew that these people were special, but recent events have confirmed how lucky I really am to have these people in my life. You guys know who you are, and if I haven’t told you directly already, please know that I love you and couldn’t imagine a life without you guys in it. For those out there reading this, take the time to tell those who are dear to you how much you love them and make time to include them in your life. You never know when it will be the last time you see someone. I know that in time I will be able to continue with my life without hurting so much, but for the time being, I will just have to deal with the grieving process. Hopefully, I can ‘get back on the horse’ and start baking and feeling the joy again soon.

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18 thoughts on “When baking isn’t enough

  1. I’m sorry for your loss. I hope you’ll be able to enjoy life again soon. I’m sure that’s what they would have wished for you. And so do I!

  2. I am sad to hear of your loss and sadness. Grief has been part of my personal landscape too this year, when I lost to cancer, quite suddenly, my sister-in-law. I couldn’t face anything much, and cooking, which normally gives me joy, was pushed away by the overwhelming busyness of funerals, and comforting my children and husband, and deep sadness. It is only in the last couple of weeks that I have slowly started to return to cooking. It has soothed me, and, in a strange way, been a part of my slow healing. Hold on to your loved ones and one day soon, you’ll feel again the pleasure of mixing and stirring and creating something wonderful to eat. Blessings. margaret

  3. Oh wow Chook. I didn’t realise. I am so sorry for your loss. Losing three loved ones is awful. Hang in there. We love you here. Take care of yourself and take everything as it comes. *hugs*

  4. Take all the time you need. Your readers will understand. I hope each day becomes a little easier.

  5. Oh dear, I’m so sorry to hear about your losses. To lose three people close to you in a short time must be absolutely devastating. I hope that you have someone giving you hugs and taking care of you. Please take care and all the time you need *HUGS* xxx

  6. Courtney on said:

    Thinking of you little one!

  7. i am so sorry for all of your recent losses. take all of the time you need and i’ll look forward to your return – hugs ) beth

  8. My heart goes out to you. Take care…

  9. I’m so sorry for your recent losses. Take all the time you need to heal, relive the good times and memories. sending hugs.

  10. Carrie on said:

    Hang tough and know that they love you still.

  11. Thank you to everyone for your comforting words and encouragement. I really do appreciate it. Lots of love to you all x

  12. My deepest condolences for your loss. Find solace knowing that someone’s watching over you and everyone here will receive you with openness when you’re ready to come back.

  13. Sorry to hear! But be brave and hope to get back to normal life soon. They love you.

  14. So sorry for your loss take care

  15. I am so sorry for your pain and losses. My you find peace soon.

  16. cheryllovesfood on said:

    I am so sorry for your loss. Words cannot begin to ease your pain. They say time heals all wounds, but I’m not so sure that is true. I am sending you a big hug. Thank you for your wonderful blog.

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